Wednesday, October 10, 2007

fashion faux pas

so I committed a MAJOR fashion faux pas today, a mistake that I haven't made in at least the last 4 years. It was half way through my morning, teaching my second science class when I touched myself (not like that) and realized that I had NO BELT ON.

For some this is no big deal. I like to call those people unrefined, ill-bred, barbarians. In any case, I joined their ranks today walking around sans belt.

While not as bad as completely losing one's trousers, the lack of a belt aesthetically is a fairly severe offense. My fashion mentor Terri would be so disappointed. I guess I'll have to watch a self-made Devil Wears Prada, America's Next Top Model, and Ugly Betty marathon in order to get my life back in order.

In case you need them, here are a few more everyday tips for the tasteless guys out there that want some help:

1) Always, wear a belt. Yes, you bought your jeans in the correct sized inseam, but always wear a belt-no exceptions.

2) Said belt MUST match your shoes. Brown belt with black shoes is as unsightly as catching someone teabagging.

3) Your socks MUST match your shoes. Black shoes=black socks, tennis shoes (even with a little color on them)=white socks, and so on. Don't buy red shoes without buying red socks!

4) For the sake of us all men, buy an ear and nose hair trimmer and then use them. Every other day at least.

Wow! I feel like I'm better and back in my place atop my high horse!


At 9:53 AM, Blogger Sloop said...

Wearing a belt & matching socks and all that is good, but I think there should be an exception to the rule when a) it's pitch black in the room when picking out clothes and b) if the lights were turned on then your wife and/or baby would start screaming at you. This is why I'm dressed sans belt and have tennies with black socks today.

At 8:15 AM, Blogger kazuhank said...

too true... there should definitely be a caveat for those that are forced to dress in the dark for fear of screaming spouses and sons. however, true fashion divas lay their clothes out the night before.


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