kazu googoo

non-resolutions

so at the aforementioned doctor's visit (i have not been in about 9 months due to a 'lapse' in medical insurance) i was asked to disrobe "anything that i did not want to count against my weight" and hop on the scale. i was severly conflicted as i pondered walking into the hall in my god-givens, i did not want to seem too vain. i pondered, "do i strip top down or bottom up?" i could hear the nurse in the hall tapping her clipboard. "maybe i'll strip down to the new comfort waistband boxer-briefs that reese bought me..." At this point, the nurse is clearing her throat and i'm fairly sure it's in relation to my delay. "okay, too assuming, i'll just take off my sweatshirt. that way i'm safe and don't seem self-absorbed," however, by taking 15 minutes to decide what level of nudity i was comfortable with, i'm sure i made it clear to the nurse. so off went the sweatshirt and purse and i was weighed with my jeans, socks, shoes, belt, t-shirt, and what was left of my dignity. i even remembered a 6th grade lesson on how air has weight and began to exhale, but i was too late as the nurse ended my ride on the scale with a curt, "thank you."

sadly enough, it wasn't until i read the discharge papers at home that i realized my blunder... my weight with all of my accessories was 192 lbs. holy crap! i could have sworn that i only had clothes on and that i hadn't inadvertantly worn a small child onto the scale with me. "kazu? did you follow me into the doctor's office?" it would be just like her. she weighs 55 lbs and that would explain some things. alas, she was with reese and free from any blame i could try and pass on.

needless to say, as eye opening as the casual drop of the c-word was, seeing my weight as 8 lbs away from a pair of c-notes, i had to do something.

so yesterday, i went for a run. it actually felt good. sure, i needed my inhaler and i only ran a mile-and-a-half, but at least i can say i'm doing something. when i got home i prolonged my shower by making the most detailed list of goals i have made this side of high school (yes, i wrote out goals in high school--i was that kid). i divided them into three main categories and made several short-term goals under each of the main goals. before you dismiss these as new year's resolutions, keep in mind that by beginning yesterday they are technically just goals. we are not in the new year yet, so i am just a man of vision. besides i want to drop a few lbs. before they weigh me again.

...and if i don't get any lighter, at least next time i could take off more clothes.

posted by kazuhank @ 4:37 PM