Thursday, February 23, 2006

"out! out damned spot(s)!"

i couldn't have said it better than lady macbeth. i've been out since tuesday afternoon (save a show with the thom that i'm not telling my doctor about) after having my "cut-open-my-leg-and-see-what's-inside" surgery.

so not only did i get to have my miniature twin brother removed from my thigh, i was able to serve the greater good of education. unbeknownst to me, the hospital had sold tickets to my surgery (i think it was $25 at the door). my surgeon was accompanied by a young nurse and a med school girl all there "just to watch." i'm glad that i couldn't watch their shocked faces as i was cut up and prodded.

so the good news is that the little me in my leg also had a little me. underneath the first 'palpable' (new vocab word kiddies) was a second growth. after a lot of stretching and pulling, both of my younger siblings were removed and the nurse was cracking jokes about my brain being removed. he thought that they looked like two little brains, but to me they looked more like jumbo prawns. now i just need some cocktail sauce and some crab cakes...

so now where i had a lump, i have a crater. i guess in the golf game that is surgery, you don't replace your divots. just as well, as my thigh is doubling as the creepiest whole on any put-put golf corse. so other than the fact that each step feels like someone is jamming a packing knife if my upper thigh, i'm on the mend. and on friday i get to find out how much trouble the twins were causing me.

4 Comments:

At 12:36 PM, Blogger BonikaStJames said...

Serioulsy, I just read the last to posts right after lunch and I'm super sicked out.

I hope you are o.k.? Sorry that you can't use the HOV lane anymore. But I'll be praying that the only trouble with the twins is that you now have a nifty scar.

 
At 12:12 PM, Blogger kazuhank said...

yeah, yeah, i need to post a disclaimer. with the time between posts, i wasn't imagining that there would be a seafood theme between the crab flying out of my mouth and the shrimp coctail pulled from my leg ;)

PLEASE DO NOT READ DURING LUNCH!

 
At 12:51 PM, Blogger Sloop said...

It's nice to know what's going on with you, and I'm praying for you and sympathizing with you, but I feel seriously nauseous now. And I'm not even kidding. I'll never eat meat again.
BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGG!!!1

 
At 12:56 PM, Blogger kazuhank said...

didn't you read the warnings?!?! :) if you really want to see something gross, how about i show you my "crater"

actually this has all been a ploy to convert you to the meatless side.

maybe if i only nick you you'll only eat chicken or something. Convert Heathen!

 

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