Tuesday, June 28, 2005

carlos d.?

gimme hair down to there!
Originally uploaded by kazuhank.
this is a funny picture that reese had on her powerbook. it's a wig that i got wet and used to take these 'glamour' shots. i'm not sure if this is an argument for me having hair or if it reassures me that bald is beautiful.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

dirty SE

i have a new ringer on my phone. i never thought that i'd be 'one of those' with the custom ringtones, yet the stock tones on my phone all suck so bad i am either a t-mobile shill, or i sound like a spaceship is taking off each time my phone rings. so now i roll with 'dirt off ya shoulder' and i have to admit i giggle each time it rings.

as it did 10 minutes ago. it was j-crash and i was happy that he was calling to chat until every other word cut out. i moved to my porch which helped in that i was no longer smelling homemade tacos (and i even think i heard a bird singing) but the poor reception was due to the dirty SE. oh well, what i heard of the conversation was nice. basically

1) an unknown quantity of chinook were caught
2) unlike trout, chinook is a man's fish
3) either venus or serena is the better looking williams sister
4) there's practice tomorrow
5) kareem abdul jabaar used to call his teammates before practice with threats like: 'i'm gonna get you tomorrow in practice'
6) we may have a shirts vs. skins practice

at least one thing's for sure after this conversation... kareem's a dick.

Saturday, June 25, 2005

guitar megastore

okay, so i realize that complaining about the shopping experience at guitar center is akin to breathing, but a recent trip to the local gc reminded me of why i despise megastores. first let me say that the only reason i was visiting said megastore is that a friend of mine gave me a $50 gift certificate. she is a teacher and knows that i play bass so i understand her buying me this as opposed to a more useful trade up music gift certificate (which may not even exist).

my goal was to accomplish two things: 1) return a midi cable 2) use returned midi cable and the aforementioned gift certificate to buy a midi merger. simple enough? you'd think so. i walked in through the amusement park turnstyle where i was half-heartedly greated by gc's equivalent to the wal-mart greeter (you know an employee who is incompetent of doing anything else, so they are allowed to sit at the entrance, say hello, and delay your exit by cross refrencing your receipt against any stolen merchandise you may have. after checking in my return item i marched into the keyboards/midi/recording department. after a quick survey of the midi boxes behind the counter, i looked for a salesperson who was not busy. there were three sales guys trying to figure out how one of them could take some recording mics home without paying for them. i eavesdropped:

dude 1: so if I pay now as a ‘layaway paid in full’ that should work right?

dude 2: no because then it would have to stay in the store. Layaways stay in the store.

dude 3: well maybe you could pay in full and then return it afterwards?

dude 1: no, cuz I can’t pay in full.

dude 2: you can’t return these opened. I could sell this to you as a ‘base sale’ [ed note: not to be confused with a bass sale] I think that’s the only way…

at this point i lost interest and turned to the fourth sales guy who looked lost behind the counter.

lost guy: hey man how’s it goin’

me: good. i was looking for a 2 to 1 midi merger. do you guys have anything like that?

lost guy: um, i’m new here, hold on a sec... (he pulls dude 2 away from the microphone discussion to ask about the merger)

dude 2: yeah they’re right there (pointing to the rack behind my head)

now i think that i’m the idiot in the scenario until i see that he has pointed to a 1 to 1 midi to mac interface.

me: oh yeah, sorry, that’s not what i’m looking for. i think it was a midi solutions product.

lost guy: midi solutions?

me: yeah.

lost guy: is that one word or two?

me: (trying not to sound sarcastic) i think it’s two...

needless to say they didn’t have what i wanted. after fumbling through the computer and finding a midi solutions 2 to 2 we gave up and processed my return, at which point the kid produced this gem:

lost guy: okay so here is your IN STORE CREDIT slip, hold onto it cuz it’s just as good as cash.

me: well technically it’s not because if it was cash i could go buy a burrito at taco bell.

lost guy: huh?

me: never mind...

it may be harder to spend the $50 simply based on principle.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

...worst champions ever

this is by no means an original thought, but after watching game 7 tonight, i have to say that the spurs are the worst three title team in recent history. my case is evident in a single play at the end of the game...

manu ginobli ended up with the ball and what was arguably an open lane to the basket to seal the game with under ten seconds left. so facing said open lane what does ginobli do? does he drive to the hole and slam the ball hard enough to break every last myopic heart in detroit? no, he dribbles around in a circle like a young colt that has escaped from a corral where it was only allowed to run in circles. rather than end a physical series with a pull-out-your-heart gesture, ginobli ran time off the clock in a show of the team-first attitude that makes the spurs boring champions.

the sad thing is that there is probably no more deserving team in the nba (if there is such a thing). besides the suns, i think that the spurs "do things the right way" and build their team around a couple of great players with none other than, you guessed it "good character" "role players" don't get me wrong this is one of the few cases of the right thing happening in the nba, yet it is so bland it makes me dare i say long for another finals featuring the lakers. at least then i had someone to hate.

the thing is i was cheering for the pistons to win yet i can't hate on the spurs and i think that therein lies the problem. great players are polarizing. either they are on you team and you love them or they are beating your team and you love to hate them. i hated michael jordan and scottie pippin when they were beating the glide and TP back in the day. then when portland signed scottie i made a case for his inclusion in the best 50 players of all time. that's how great players work--they have so much skill or character (barkley, rodman, lambier et. al.) that you love to love to hate them. i hate kobe bryant which is why i will always watch the blazers lakers games... suddenly i care.

that's the problem with the spurs. i can't imagine anyone hating the spurs. too much "character" i suppose... and not the kind of "character" that gives you something to talk about on sports radio.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

School's Out

If only Alice Cooper could get a royalty check from each school that plays 'school's out for summer' at the end of the schoolyear. I would ave never imagined it, but they still play that song on the last day of school. I figured that that song was only hip to the metal generation of my own grammar scool cohort back in the 80s. Don't put away your baby dolls with fake blood and black makeup yet because the Coop has still got it. Seeing hundreds of kids air guitaring and knee kicking to a song that was old when I was in school is classic, if not nostaligic.

Speaking of nostalgia, is there anything more school like than signing yearbooks. The last two hours at work, I was signing yearbooks while trying not to notice the blatant obscenities and acronyms that were not very subtly used to disguise obscenities. Then there are the classic lines: 'have a great summer,' 'H.A.G.S.K.A,' or the optimistic little playa wo has the stones to throw out his digits in the hopes of some summer lovin' 'Call me! Mike 555-9856.' Gotta love his optimism. I think I was more interested in the fellas calling me and they already had my digits. Oh well, for those of us with no game, the last day of school at least guarantees some free hugs. And I was glad to take advantage... back in the day of course.

Teaching is a good way to stay young. You get to see why the summer used to be so exciting. It was fun to vicariously go back to the days of my own youth. You know, when Alice Cooper was cool.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

donkey kong!

donkey kong!
Originally uploaded by kazuhank.
this screen shot of the original donkey kong level three is worth its own posting. possibly even worth its own blog.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

take a break

Originally uploaded by kazuhank.
i have to borrow a move from j-crash's book (fortunately it's not a crazy uncle dance that ends with a donkey kick that will throw out my hip) and give some end-of-the-semester props to my lady.

reese is the one in the picture and yesterday she took her last final of spring term. with her taking a break summer term, this is it! she can take a break. reese has somehow managed to juggle full time school, full time work, and managing my dependant ass. she has worked harder this last term than i have seen anyone work. she can finally take a break, and she has certainly earned every second of it.

so reese, this one's for you, take a well earned break and know that i have the utmost respect and admiration for all that you have done this last semester--not the least of which was bringing home the bacon while i have been student teaching for no money.

thanks sexy!

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

quote of the day

my substitute's quote of the day comes from a fourth grader's letter to their future fifth grade teacher (they were supposed to describe themselves):

"In writing it is just the spelling I nead to work only a little bit."


Monday, June 06, 2005

feeling smurfy?

feeling smurfy?
Originally uploaded by kazuhank.
we all have our favorites.... missle command, joust, frogger, asteroids et.al. but there's something about this colecovision smurfs game that makes me feel like i am seven years old again.

in the heyday of the atari explosion, i was on assisted lunch, so we couldn't afford to jump into the fray. so i watched from afar and looked forward to sleepovers at my friends who were lucky enough to own the atari 2600. you know the guys. they were the friends who called you on christmas morning to tell you that t they had received omega supreme the same year that you got brawn.

well that all changed a few years after the video game boom when my parents sprung for not an atari, but a coleco vision. the OTHER 80s video game brand... anyways our coleco came with the three best games ever: the original donkey kong, mouse trap, and the smurfs.

smurfs was a classic scrolling game with no fire button, only a joystick for walking and jumping. the graphics ruled over atari and after a few hours of playing azrael would show up. then later gargamel and i don't recall a formal ending, i think it just went on until you grew tired of it.

so even though i was a late bloomer in the video game world, the kick ass smurf game made up for everything. that and the next year we got the coleco atari adaptor so that i could play all the games my friends were sick of. sometimes poverty pays off...

Sunday, June 05, 2005

roasted pig

roasted pig
Originally uploaded by kazuhank.
Hank is a pretty odd duck. A weimaraner who hates balls and the water. That and he's a couch potato. however, every now and again, he shows a little personality. this morning was one such case when i failed to stop an apple from rolling off the table hank's prey drive took over and he spent the next 15 minutes carrying his apple 'kill' around the house. this should help me save money on dog toys...

back in the saddle

okay, so a good friend recently reminded me of the several blog violations that i am under by neglecting to post regularly. so now that i have no really good excuses, i agree. i will get off of my arse and return to the world of blogs. not that i have ever been that active or had anyone look at this blog. if anything this one's for you sloop.