Sunday, November 27, 2005

I love this game!

Ah, the NFL. Some call it the No Fun League, others refer to it as the league of No-life Fantasy Losers, others see it as Not For Long based on the average NFL player's career expectancy being slightly under 3 years. To me though the NFL should stand for Nice F-in Language. That's right the league that brought you the 'wardrobe malfunction'that introduced prepubescent boys the world over to Janet Jackson's right breast is also providing those same boys with a weekly dose of obscene language that they can put into use on the playground.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not one to judge when it comes to language. On any given second of any given day, there are probably a few choice words held in my mouth only by my teeth. In any case, the NFL regularly gets away with on screen imagery that would make both live sensors and Mike Myers-with-Kanye-West-in-the-room nervous. It seems that each game I watch features at least one occurance of a player, coach or fan dropping an f-bomb on camera. Take for instance Laveraneous Coles' touchdown in the ESPN night game a few moments ago. The play was called a touchdown, then reviewed and taken away. Almost on cue, ESPN cut to a few Jets fans (the game was played at home in New Jersey) one of whom was flipping off the officials on camera, the other, a girl who was classic jersey girl in both style and function, could be seen in the same shot yelling "you effing suck" at the officials. I probably wouldn't even say anything if it didn't happen every week. After each bad Seahawks call, the camera always cuts to the firey Holmgren who obliges with a tirade of obscenities. I don't blame Mike either, it's the TV producers who know what they are going to get when the cut to the explosive coach on the verge of erruption. Yet after each questionable call there they go for the reaction shot. A few weeks ago, Holmgren even got his voice over the airwaves with his challenge for the officials to "make the effing call."

What I find humorous besides the obvious naughty language broadcast over reception television is that it is coming from the prudest of sports leagues. NASCAR is the fastest growing sport nationally, and its base fans are generally Bible-belt conservatives, yet it has allowed hard liquor sponsorships. Compare this to the NFL, the league that cancelled a successful cable series Playmakers due to the 'bad rap' that it gave the league. The NFL also will never allow expansion into Vegas for fear of gambling's influence (yet they cater to fantasy football players with their mandatory injury updates and point spreads). From this prude league you can count on a weekly dose of bad words that to me seem far worse than the completely natural body part that Mz. Jackson shared with the world.

Well, halftime's over so I'm back to watching the game. Who knows what words and gestures I'll see. Regardless, I'll keep my finger on the TiVo rewind button so that I can watch it again in slo-mo.

Friday, November 18, 2005

new member of our family

here there lil' guy
Originally uploaded by kazuhank.
before you freak out, this member has no poopy diapers or 9 month gestation period.

last night i was reminded that it was truely better to give than to receive when i surprised reese with a new ipod nano. the lesson was reinforced by my new ipod's inability to sync with my itunes while her nano is pumping out 2G of tunes like a trooper.

so if you want something to work right, buy it for your sweethear and not yourself. but don't worry about me, my 30G ipod video is loaded with reese's library which is nice, but i sure miss those boy eats drum machine {LIVE} tracks.

by the way the nano is very small here are a few pictures for scale reference:
/for size comparisonmeeting of the minds

Tuesday, November 15, 2005


did you know my dog has a blog? she's 'predee kewl'

stupid new kid

at my teacher job i'm pretty much the punky new kid. yes, after being 'the old guy' in all of my college classes last year, i'm now the 'kid' again. while i've never favored being referred to as boy, i do like being considered young now that i am in the last couple of years of my twenties.

in addition to being the kid, my dual presence as both the only male, and the only employee under 30 ensures my place as the resident technology expert. i am looked at as a computer genius for my ability to construct Excel spreadsheets and the wizardry that allows me to move applications in and out of my dock. never mind the oohs and aahs that are declared when i add appointments on my palm pilot.

as easy as it was to make, what really blew my cohorts away was my silly little teacher blog. i made it last weekend as a place to direct students for homework assignments etc. so blogging has now earned me techno cred at work. who would have known. the irony is that i am a computer idiot. all that i know has rubbed off of smarter people than me. i'll take all of the praise, just don't let on that i really don't know anything.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Use Caution! Contains Hot Oil and Steam!

i just finished an entire bag of microwave popcorn all by myself. Am I:

1) a glutton?

2) a slob?

3) really hungry and justified?

should i feel disgusting? is this normal? when i am at home and pop a bag for enjoyment with a movie or the like, reese and i usually share said bag. the sharing is either via the pass-the-large-bowl-back-and-forth method or the less popular divide-the-bag-between-two-medium-bowls. in either case i only eat about half a bag. now i feel rather lecherous and uncertain of how i crossed the line from seeking a slight snack to gobbling down an entire bag of corn.

oh well, i had originally planned on redeming a "free medium fry" coupon at mcdonalds, but the drive thru line was too long. i guess a whole bag of popcorn is the equivalent of a medium fry on the consumption scale.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

the ballcap's my bling

i have to address a trend of performers wearing baseball caps on stage. my fear is that paul simon may be the culprit here. now i understand that not everyone can rock the yule brenner chrome dome like yours truly, so i can appreciate paul feeling the need to cover his balding pate. but paul, do you realize how silly you look? you're paul freaking simon! if you keep rolling out with the ballcap people will mistake you for jimmy buffet (please keep your shoes on). i think there needs to be an intervention of rock star proportion. the edge, michael stipe, and kenna (i know, i know, no one knows kenna but he is brave enough to rock with a bald head) need to sit paul down, remind him of who he is and that there are options for bald rockers. the edge can suggest having a knit cap attached to simon's head with an industrial solvent or staples, the knit cap also serves as a billboard for political statements or to simply state the name of your current single (vertigo toque anyone?). ben kenney of the roots and incubus fame could recommend a plethora of cabbie hats, pageboys, or hand knit hemp lids. Or for a change of pace stipe and kenna could convince simon to go gillette and sport the kojack.

the need for the intervention could not be more clear last night when i saw another performer (whattup thom!) step onto the stage with a ballcap. the problem here was that this was not an aging used-to-be trying to hide a receeding hairline, this was a frontman with a full head of hair. therein lies the pitfall to simon's reckless use of his rock influence, the future rock stars of america are committing fashion faux pas. seriously, if you start a set with that baseball hat, you know it's coming off in 2-3 songs when you start playing. that leads to the worst atrocity of all, you on stage in front of your legion of fans with hat hair. nothing worse than that and i can't help but think that all of this could be prevented. if only we could get through to paul simon...